


Find my way back

by Notquiteright



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bc I needed them on semi-functional terms for this, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, F/M, Fix-It, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Sam Orpheuses Rowena the fuck out of Hell, The big destiel break-up didn't happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 12:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21198002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notquiteright/pseuds/Notquiteright
Summary: Not content to accept Rowena's death Sam finds a way to bring her back to life: petitioning Hades himself for a chance to lead the witch back to the land of the living.





	Find my way back

**Author's Note:**

> After I finished the ep this idea just didn't leave me alone. Figures the first spn fic I'd write would be a fix-it.  
(I just want Rowena back is that too much to ask for? T.T)

“How is Sam?” Cas finds Dean in the kitchen, nursing a half empty bottle of beer and Dean barely restrains himself from glancing in the direction he knows his brother’s room to be. Sam’s been holed up there for the better part of the day. He’s been poring over spell books, trying to find a way to bring Rowena back restlessly. Dean isn’t sure if he slept. Or ate the salad he found in his good brotherly heart to make for him. _That’s_ how Sam is. 

“As well as you can expect” he replies gruffly. Cas seems to hesitate before speaking again and Dean hates how fragile their relationship has become. He’s not delusional enough to not realize just how much his own actions contributed to that. But he doesn’t know how to fix this. Or even if it even should be fixed. 

“Sam cared for her a great deal.” 

“Yeah” Dean chuckles, even though it’s not funny. “We all did.” he isn’t sure any of them realized how much until she was gone. 

“Dean...” Cas tries. To console him? Apologize? Dean doesn’t care which. He can’t deal with this. Not on top of everything. Before he can say something he might regret Sam walks in and immediately Dean’s mothering instinct takes over. He looks... horrible. It’s clear he neglected a significant amount of sleep; but instead of grief his eyes are filled with a sort of manic light. He’s _smiling_.

Sam slams the Book of the Damned down on the table. 

“I figured it out.” he says “Remember the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice?” 

“Uh guy goes to the underworld to save his girlfriend but he turns around and she goes poof?” 

“Right.” Sam nods absently, clearly expecting a more eloquent summary, but not caring enough to correct him. “So according to the lore there’s precedent for that. It can actually be done.” 

“I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news.” he really doesn’t. “But doesn’t this sound a bit too easy for you?” if that’s all it takes Dean is pretty sure they’d have heard about it by now. Hell, they’re the Winchesters; between them they have tried out all the different resurrection types in the book. 

“Sam is right.” Cas says with a hint of surprise in his expression. “It can be done.” 

“You knew about this? Didn’t you think the information might’ve come in handy in the past?!” he retorts and the angel looks away. 

“It was never an option before.” his gaze flicks to Sam meaningfully. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize…”

“It’s fine Cas.” Sam smiles briefly, uncomfortably, and Dean bristles. 

“Care to share with the rest of the class?” 

“Right. Sorry.” Sam takes a deep breath. “So you have to petition Hades for the return of a soul.” 

“Greek god of death, yeah.” 

“Right. Except in reality he acts as more… a smuggler really. He can slip by Heaven and Hell undetected.” 

“Wow the angels must love him.” Dean says sarcastically. 

“We don’t.” 

“The point is.” Sam puts an end to the bickering before it can unfold. (Dean sort of wishes he didn’t. That’s the closest he and Cas got to being themselves in a very long time) “he _can_ bring people back to life. That is, if you can convince Persephone he should.” 

“Wait, why Persephone?” 

“She’s… more sympathetic.” Dean gives him an unimpressed look. ‘Try again bitch’ it spells out, and Sam’s answering ‘Fuck you really jerk’ glance doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“You’ve got the spell to summon them?” Cas swoops in to save Sam from having to elaborate and his brother nods, eagerly accepting the change of subject. 

“Yeah. I think we have most of the ingredients in the bunker.” Dean stands up, ready to go. 

“Good. Then we find a nice abandoned place somewhere and summon the fuckers.” 

“Dean…”

“We’re coming with Sammy.” if he thinks Dean is going to let him try and negotiate with not one but _two_ gods on his own he’s got another thing coming. They lost Mary. Jack. Rowena. Ketch. He’ll be damned if Sam goes on that list too. 

***

The spell isn’t a complex one. Even without formal witch training Sam is able to cast it without hitch. 

“Sam Winchester.” a figure steps out from the smoke. He doesn’t look particularly angered by being summoned. Then again his face is devoid of anything resembling an actual emotion too. 

“And the rest of the famous three.” a woman walks up to him, and leans on his shoulder. They’re an odd picture: him in a dark suit and sunglasses with skin paler than death and her in a floral dress and earthly brown locks. The contrast is jarring. 

“We’ve heard a lot about you. So who died this time?” she smiles.

“Hades and Persephone.” Sam steps forward even though he can see Dean tense from the corner of his eye. “I came to petition you to restore Rowena MacLeod to life.” 

“You loved this woman?” Hades asks, almost bored and Sam grits his teeth. This isn’t exactly how he imagined having to get the words out. 

“I do.” he purposefully avoids looking at Dean; he doesn’t want to see if he is surprised, or if he already knew. 

“Show me.” Persephone takes a step closer, reaching out to take his hands gently. “Show me any memory of her.” Sam debates on what to pick for a moment but then the answer seems painfully clear. 

He shows Persephone the crypt. Rowena crying and asking him to kill her. Their destiny. The way she hugged him while he plunged a knife into her stomach. The pain of seeing her fall, fall, deep into the pits of Hell. 

_Goodbye boys_

Persephone gasps and lets go of him as if she’d been burned. 

“What is it dear?” Hades asks in the same detached tone he used on Sam (so the apathy is clearly general, not personal). Persephone rushes back to his side and burrows her head into his chest. 

“He speaks true my love.” 

“Very well.” he puts an arm around the goddess. “You have convinced my wife. So you have convinced me. What shall you give me in return?” 

“Her soul is in Hell.” Persephone supplies. “The place is in complete disarray. Sneaking in and out won’t be much hardship.” the god of death sighs. 

“I offer you the same conditions as Orpheus. You’re allowed to lead her out of Hell. I’ll make sure that no demon catches sight of you. If you turn back to look at her she’ll be sent back to the Pit and your soul will be mine.”

“Excuse me, what?” Dean protests. Hades takes off his sunglasses and glares at Dean through cold dead eyes. 

“I do not work for free. If he fails, I’ll gain his soul as a reward. I am being exceedingly generous. You should do well to respect that.” 

“And if I succeed?” Sam cuts in. Hades turns his eerie gaze on him. 

“If you succeed you shall gain the woman’s soul.” 

“However.” Persephone interjects. “She shall be a mortal henceforth.” she gives the trio an apologetic look. “You have to understand. It is fated that you kill her; if we bring her back destiny will just keep finding a way to force your hand.” 

“But if she’s mortal…” Cas wonders out loud. Persephone nods. 

“Then in bringing her back Sam Winchester shall be the cause of her death in old age. Yes. A loophole.” 

“Whether she chooses to follow you is her decision.” Hades declares gravely and gives him an expectant look. Dean points holds up his hand in a ‘wait a minute’ gesture. 

“Hold on Sam. We should talk about this.” 

“What’s there to talk about?” but he follows Dean out of earshot, while Cas keeps an eye on the two gods. 

“It’s your soul Sam and there’s a chance she won’t follow you? What if…”

“You’d do the same if it was Cas.” Sam interjects firmly and Dean’s mouth snaps shut. A myriad of emotions chase each other on his face. Shock. Anger. Pain. Resignation. 

“I… just try to come back with your soul intact. I ain’t dealing with a soulless-Sam round two!” he snaps, but even that barely masks the worry in his eyes. 

“Yeah I’d rather not do that either.” Sam replies lightly and Dean scoffs. 

“Have you decided?” Hades asks when they rejoin them. Sam nods. 

“I accept your terms.” 

***

When Sam comes to he feels dizzy and disoriented. He blinks at the figure approaching him but before he can jump up to defend himself the demon already passes by him. 

So Hades kept his word then. 

“I hope you’re here Rowena.” he mutters quietly before standing up. He doesn’t know which way leads topside but he knows his vision is severely limited by the fact that he can’t turn around. 

The only option is forward. 

He doesn’t know how far he is from the exit and the hordes of demons rushing past him (and through him at times) is getting unnerving. 

“She isn’t following you.” a voice says on his left and Sam turns gingerly to look at her. She can’t be a demon, that much he is certain of. If she was she couldn’t see him, much less know about the deal he made. 

“Hades sent you, didn’t he?” 

“He has.” she throws a pebble behind the hunter and he gives her a bitchy look. She throws up her hands. “A girl’s gotta try Samuel.” he flinches at that name, at that inflection. The stranger grins at him crookedly before making her way to him. 

“Honestly why would she follow you back? I mean come on, mortality sucks. If she even gets the luxury of worrying about wrinkles anyway. Honestly at the rate people die around you she’d be dead again by next week. Most likely rather brutally. Who’d want a second serving of that? She’s probably glad to have escaped you guys.” 

“You’re wrong.” Sam says, strained, and starts to walk away. The woman follows. 

“Am I? It seems to me that being loved by the Winchesters is the leading cause of death since… 1983” she considers him. “Shall I go by chronological order? Or order of importance?” 

“Shut up.” Sam grits out and she laughs. 

The next time he glances to the side she is gone. 

***

The path doesn’t get any more pleasant; but it does seem a bit familiar. He remembers the lines cages from when he rescued Bobby’s soul; he’s probably near that area of Hell because there are damned souls screaming at him from every corner. 

“Sam.” he stops dead. He hasn’t heard that voice in years, but he’d recognize it anywhere. 

“Jess?” he breathes, disbelieving. Jess walks out of one of the cages, her clothes tattered, still covered in blood. She looks exactly the same as she did when she died. 

“It’s me Sam.” she reaches to touch him but he recoils. 

“No. You’re not. You’re just one of Hades’ tricks.” Jess’ face crumples but Sam doesn’t let himself be fooled. Lucifer exploited this weakness already. Besides Jess can’t be in Hell. She _can’t_ be. If anyone deserves to be in Heaven it’s her. 

“You don’t believe me?” she takes a step back, her eyes watering. “You… you chose her over me! You came back for her and left me here to rot!” 

“Why her Sam?” Eileen walks out another cage. Then Madison. Then Sarah. They all watch him with accusing eyes. 

“She’s a murderer. A monster. She doesn’t deserve to be saved! Not like I did!” Madison cries angrily. Sarah shakes her head mournfully. 

“Did you even try to bring me back?” 

Sam closes his eyes to block out the visions of all the women he loved and lost. He knows them. He knows them and he knows whatever these things are might wear their faces but they don’t _act _ like them. 

“This isn’t you. Any of you.” he looks Jess in the eyes. “_This isn’t you_” he says with conviction. The uncharacteristic snarl on Jessica’s face melts into a smirk. 

“Yes my performance might’ve gone a bit too far.” not-Jess says as Eileen, Madison and Sarah disappear in a puff of smoke. “You have to forgive me. There’s not a lot to work with. Your girls weren’t exactly the spiteful bunch.” 

Sam is overcome with the strongest urge to punch Hades’ little minion in the face for desecrating their memory like that but he takes a steadying breath. If he wants to save Rowena he needs to keep it together. 

“Although…” she grins. “My performance may not have been entirely for _your_ benefit.” 

Before he can ask what she means she disappears once more. 

***

“We’re almost there Rowena. Just hold on a little longer.” Sam sighs. “It’s not true. Any of it. I hope you know that.” 

Sam sees it in the distance. A door. A door that looks rickety and battered and one that fits the aesthetic of an abandoned warehouse far better than Hell. Hades’ door. They’re almost there. Just a little while longer. 

“Don’t confuse my acting being out of character with me _lying_ Sam Winchester” the stranger appears again. “I mean come on. She did murder quite a lot of people.” 

“That’s in the past.” 

“Aww is that what you tell yourself when you justify your little affair with Ruby too?” 

“I know what you’re doing. And it’s not gonna work.” he retorts. “We’re almost out of here. And you can’t stop me or else you would have done something already.” 

“That’s true.” she concedes. “But Sam can’t you see? I’m trying to protect you!” Sam scoffs. 

“Yeah. Protect me. Sounds about right.” 

“Let’s be optimistic here. So she follows you out” she bounds after him. “What do you think is going to happen? Riding off into the sunset together? Don’t be naïve. She’s going to leave the minute she’s topside. You know that. She’ll never love you back. Even if she was capable of it – which I doubt – she’d never be able to love _you_. You, Sam Winchester, the cause of all her suffering? Don’t make me laugh.” 

Sam tunes out her chatter and reaches for the handle on the door. The sudden flash of light blinds him. He blinks. He’s standing in the open doorway of the warehouse. When they spot him, Dean and Cas give him twin looks of relief. Sam watches the stranger walk past him to Hades, her guise peeling off into flower petals to reveal Persephone. 

Does that mean…?

“Hello Samuel.” he hears from behind him and he doesn’t dare turn. What if it’s a trick? 

“Congratulations Sam Winchester.” Persephone drawls, and now that Sam knows better he can see the cruelty beneath her friendly-exterior. “You have won.” 

“Our work here is done.” Hades wraps takes his wife’s hand and they are gone. And if they’re gone… 

“It’s not a trick” Rowena appears in front of him, lifting his chin up so he would look at her. She seems tired, but alive, so very alive. “I’m here.” 

“Rowena.” Cas breaks the moment, as he and Dean arrive and smile at the resurrected witch who seems taken aback by the genuine joy directed at her. “It’s good to see you alive.” 

“Welcome back Ro.” 

“You all… came back for me?” Rowena asks, showing a rare glimpse of vulnerability. Sam can’t blame her. She thought she was going to die, permanently this time. Of course she’s still shaken. 

“Of course we did.” Sam reassures her while Castiel nods in agreement. It’s Dean however, who gets to the heart of the matter: 

“We don’t leave family behind.” 

***

There’s a light knock on his door before it opens to reveal Rowena. 

“May I come in? Unresolved sexual tension are having a heated debate in the library. I thought it best not interrupt.” 

“Yeah better not. I’m glad they’re at least _talking_ about it.” Sam hopes they’ll sort things out finally. Though knowing them, it seems unlikely. Rowena chuckles. 

“Talking is one word for it.” 

“I’ll take anything at this point.” there is a brief lull of silence. Rowena averts her eyes in an unusually shy gesture. 

“I wanted to thank you Samuel. For getting me out of Hell.” 

“Of course I got you out. You didn’t deserve to be there in the first place.” 

“Didn’t I?” 

“Rowena…”

“I know. I know.” she nods, but Sam can see she doesn’t. 

“You didn’t deserve it. Any of it.” Sam repeats, more firmly, and she smiles faintly. 

“My knight in shining flannel.” Sam snorts and this time her smile turns a bit more genuine. 

“Are you alright though? No side effects or…?”

“If this is a delicate way of asking how I’m handling my mortality then I’m fine. My magic doesn’t seem to be affected at all.” 

“Good. I’m glad.” Sam answers, relieved. He was concerned about what effect losing her immortality would have on the witch’s powers. He doesn’t know how she would have taken becoming completely human. The idea seems entirely too strange. 

Rowena pauses with a hint of uncertainty before speaking again. 

“Bollocks.” she groans eventually. “Out of everyone of course it’s my luck to… Fine. I have already died for the Winchesters one can hardly sink any lower than that. I love you too Samuel. There. I said it.” Sam gapes at her and she scoffs. “I _can_ say it you know!” 

“Rowena?” Sam approaches her and she stops grumbling. “I love you.” for a moment she stills. Her gaze is filled with surprise and wonder like after everything hearing someone saying it and meaning it is still too much to comprehend. 

Sam leans down and kisses her gently and the deadliest witch of the world melts against him. She reaches her arms up and embraces him, and it almost feels like last time. Like he is an anchor in the storm. 

Only now he isn’t losing the woman he loves. 

This time he gets to keep her. 


End file.
